ADHD and rigid planning: Building plans that bend, not break
As an ADHD coach and having ADHD myself, I've noticed a fascinating pattern in how we manage our daily lives. Many of us with ADHD create elaborate plans and routines to manage everything on our plates - both at home and at work. Although these systems are meant to support our executive function challenges, they can become surprisingly inflexible. And this often leads to higher anxiety and stress in the face of curveballs.
When plans meet reality
Here’s an example from my own life, where I juggle a business, coaching, and parenting a toddler. I've developed intricate systems with carefully crafted to-do lists, synchronized calendars, and daycare pickup/dropoff schedules.
There’s just one little problem, which I’ve known for a while but never really accepted: kids bring home germs from daycare. These germs are relentless - and they don't check my calendar before they strike.
So every time I get sick and need to drop everything, I find myself feeling disproportionately upset. It’s not just because I’m ill - it’s also because this unexpected sickness threatens my feelings of psychological safety, which have their source in my meticulous planning. Rigid planning often serves as a coping mechanism for people with ADHD, even though we all know that changes and unpredictability are also part of life.
The key to planning better is developing a more flexible mindset - one that allows our systems to adapt rather than collapse.
Why ADHD brains often need rigid systems
Research helps explain this pattern. Studies show that people with ADHD experience reduced cognitive flexibility (Johnson et al., 2021), which is an ability to adapt to unexpected changes. Additionally, challenges with working memory and time blindness (Williams & Chen, 2022) mean we often rely heavily on external structure.
In response to these challenges, we create systems to:
Reduce decision fatigue, which helps us preserve mental energy for important tasks
Provide us with structure, giving our day clear anchors and routines
Help manage overwhelming stimuli by creating predictable environments
Create predictability, which helps compensate for time blindness
Support working memory by externalizing information we need to track
Have fun in the process - our ADHD brains often enjoy the novelty, creativity and problem-solving aspects of building these systems
Our systems provide a sense of control and safety. But if they are disrupted, this can trigger disproportionate stress responses.
Building an earthquake-resistant schedule
Think of your planning system like an earthquake-resistant building. You need a strong foundation - your core routines and systems - but also the ability to sway with unexpected changes without collapsing.
Here's one practical approach I share with my clients, drawing from my project management background: Make a habit of planning "tax" into your schedule. Just as an 8-hour workday doesn't mean 8 hours of continuous, focused work, we need to build in buffer time.
Set aside 20% of your planned time for unexpected changes. In an 8-hour day, this means planning around 6.5 hours of actual task time. This buffer becomes your system's "flexible joints," which absorb disruptions without compromising the whole structure.
Life will always bring change. The key is to start seeing our systems as adaptable guidelines rather than rigid rules. With built-in flexibility like planning for "tax," our structures can both support us and build confidence in our ability to adjust.
Want to explore how to create flexible systems that work for you? Book a Discovery Session with one of our ADHD coaches at this link to learn more about working together.
